HOW TO HAVE AN OUTRAGEOUSLY SUCCESSFUL PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE!

By: Vernon Nickerson, MA*

BEFORE the conference

1. Confirm the day, time and teacher via e-mail with a telephone follow-up. In the e-mail, commit to notifying the school if you have an unplanned emergency and cannot attend.

2. IF YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO ATTEND: CONTACT YOUR CHILD’S TEACHER(S) IMMEDIATELY. Provide them with alternate dates and times and commit to following up to confirm the alternate meeting. It is OKAY and strongly suggested that your alternative meeting take place before the scheduled Parent-Teacher Conference event or within five business days of the scheduled event. Often, teachers may have to submit final semester grades soon after the conferences.

3. Sit down with your child and ask her or him what they expect their teacher to say during the conference; then ask them what they would most like their teacher to say. TAKE NOTES. The actual meeting will be some mix of your child’s actual and ideal. By having this conversation before you go, you can work with your child beforehand to address any challenging issues (e.g., skipped classes, homework or projects not turned in, negative behaviors, etc.). With this kind of pre-conference “insider” information, you will find it much easier to partner with both teacher and student to resolve any issues.

4. Review your child’s last grade report and behavioral reports as applicable. Often, particularly if there have been problems, the teacher will have reviewed your child’s records and/or spoken to previous teachers.

5. If you are a dual-parent household (married, partnered or divorced), do whatever you need to do to attend the conference together. If all else fails, the non-attending parent must take the initiative to make and keep an alternative appointment. They may never say it to your face until they are older and have children of their own, but most children want their parents to care about what happens to them in the place where they spend most of their childhood.

DURING the Conference

1. Ask if you can take notes. Then, take notes. ALSO, use this opportunity to write down additional questions and/or topics that come to mind.

2. LISTEN three to five minutes for every one minute you speak. Parents should take turns watching the time; if that is not possible, bring a kitchen timer or use the “set alarm” function on your Smartphone to signal when you should be wrapping up.

3. If you run out of time and have unfinished business: Make a commitment to follow-up by e-mail or phone to schedule additional time.

4. Thank the teacher for their time. Remind them of any follow-up and/or action items.

AFTER the Conference

1. 1 calendar day later: send the teacher a handwritten Thank You note, making at least one reference to something that was discussed; follow-up with your child, even if all of you were present for the conference.

2. 7 calendar days later: all follow-up as previously agreed should be completed by this time

3. As much as works for your schedule/lifestyle, etc.: make an unannounced pop-up visit at least once every semester or volunteer. You want the school to know you as well or better than they know your child. You also want to communicate to your child the importance of doing the right thing whether or not you are watching them, so being unpredictable is helpful here. If you regularly drop off or pick up your child, a pop-up can be a simple as planning to arrive a few minutes before the start (or end) of the school day and checking in with the office.

4. CELEBRATE your OUTRAGEOUSLY SUCCESSFUL PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCE with your child!

*Article originally published on TheAmericanSchoolcoach, a WordPress website, in October 2013. Reprinted by permission of the author.

Mr. Nickerson began his career at the age of 13 as a private tutor to a 60-year-old client who had worked all her life as a housekeeper and wanted to earn her GED before she died. The client was successful and an educator was born. In the fall of 2022, Mr. Nickerson is in his 50th year as a special education professional/Educational Consultant/Curriculum Developer using Google Classroom/ Executive Producer of One Opinionated Son of A Blacksmith!, an Internet radio program airing daily at Noon( Pacific)/ 3:00 pm (Eastern) on www.VEGEradio.com.

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